I am sick and tired of feeling like this. I believe that watching all of the movies with this stupid love stories are getting to me. I love watching them, but after the movie has finished I just feel this empty feeling for not having a love story of my own. Being so young, I feel that I am putting so much pressure on myself to find someone. But there it is, I am young, I have time to find that someone. I just wish that there was someone that I could say, “I love you, goodnight” to, other than my mother, who by the way is aggravating me to no ends. (Sorry mom, you tell me that I aggravate you everyday! Haha)
So one of the chores I have at home is to mow the lawn. We have a pretty big lawn so it takes about an hour and half to cut the grass, so what else is there to do for 2 hours than think about your life and to assess it. And god does it get me to thinking about the love situation again. But this time I thought about her…. She is real; I just cannot say her name for she may read this post. She is the perfect woman. I could write a complete list of words to describe her, but I will just say one thing, when I am with her, just sitting and talking to her, I feel that we were brought into this world to complete each other and to be each other’s support. But my life is not one of those sappy love movies, it is real life. So of course there is no happy ending for me, not yet anyways. I just pray that one day I have the courage to act on my feelings instead of writing them down for people to read and feel sorry for me.
To complete this rant, I have decided on 2 things. I want to lose 30 to 50 pounds in my next two years. I have full access to a state of the art gym and chefs and the ready, so why not use them? In order to achieve this, I am going to need help from my friends. I need support to push me when I am weak and to be there so I do not fall. I also need a gym buddy to go with me to the gym so that I will have someone to push me. If anyone is interested please let me know. Well I guess I am done, I need some sleep. Peace!
